Thursday, September 18, 2008

And so it goes

I survived the medical treatments and am, while not exactly healthy, better than I have been for a long time.

I also leave today to meet a sweet friend and ask her to come live with me and share the rest of my life. She knows my flaws, including that I am still getting over the death of my wife last year, and still wants to be with me. I fly today to NM and then we will drive back to Charleston SC together. A large blonde Lab will occupy the rear half of the car, if not slightly more. It will be nice to have love, laughter, and a dog in my house once again. Correction in our house, no more lonely.

I will probably post once or twice more here, and then I will let it die out. I hope to let this chapter in my life wind down. It will never end, there is too much history, and grown children and grandchildren to remind and be reminded. It is time to move on, time to stop crying except when I want to cry.

Suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness and leaves pain in its wake. If anyone reading this is considering suicide, please seek help. A cliche, but true none the less. If anyone reading this is the victim of suicide and needs to talk, write here and I will try to reply. I will continue to check this blog for that possibility.

To well wisher and friends, thanks. I made it this far.

2 comments:

Mona Albano said...

I came close during several depressed months. I forgot that anyone would care. When I came out of it, I felt that I had dodged a bus.

Best of luck to you.

Travis said...

I know this is an old post but I thought I would comment on it anyway. I agree it is a very selfish act. I was very depressed about 10 years ago and often felt suicidal. However, from what I remember (it was a pretty foggy time, my memories are pretty vague, pretty fuzzy and I find it difficult to remember details of that time with much clarity). But I remember that many of my thoughts of suicide were less about dying and more wanting to do something to make people notice, to make people care. I felt very, very alone at the time and thought no one really cared and selfishly thought that by doing something like that it would make them realize I needed them.

I still struggle with depression but it is much more mild, something that comes and goes but I am glad that I do not think in the same way any longer.